Leisa Michelle

Nerdy Monologues of an Autodidact

Don’t Strive to Be the Best – Strive to be Better

by 1 Comment

The power went out just now as I was publishing a new blog post. Perfect timing, right? I flopped down on the couch to decide what to do with my electricity-less, internet-less time. And I began thinking back to when I was in high school and my friend Angie and I plotted our ultimate learning project: our rise to Renaissance Man stardom. We wanted to be like Leonardo da Vinci and the other historical “masters of all trades”.

We loosely acted on our plans. We made a list of all things that a true Renaissance Man should know: classic music, biology, art history, world history, math, politics, among others. A true Renaissance Man should be one of the most capable people in the world in all these subjects, we agreed. He (or she) had to be the best. So naturally, we made being the best our goal.

We never became Renaissance Men. In fact, we failed quite miserably.

Keep reading…

Productive vs Valuable

by Leave a Comment

This post is a part of my Personal Development Project for May 2016.

“I was so unproductive yesterday.”

“I couldn’t get anything done all week. What a waste!”

“Man, I didn’t do anything today!”

The number of times I’ve said or heard these things is too high to count. We (people in general) like getting things done. We like seeing the results of our labor, creating tangible things. We’re obsessed with being productive.

Clearing your inbox is productive. Finishing that assignment is productive. Cleaning the house, taking the car into the shop, uploading the pictures from that vacation you took two months ago, doing the write-up for that meeting, being able to check something off your to-do list — all productive activities. Productivity means producing something tangible, something concrete, something completed.

Unproductive tasks, then, don’t produce tangible results. Taking a walk, for example, is unproductive. Going to the beach is unproductive. Watching a movie, getting on the internet, hanging out with friends, reading a few pages of a book, taking a nap, brewing a good cup of coffee, sitting in silence and just thinking about life — all of these things are unproductive. You usually have nothing tangible to show after you’ve engaged in these kinds of activities.

Somehow, the word “productive” has come to be “valuable”. And by extension, “unproductive” has come to mean “not valuable”. But this is a huge shame (or rather, a huge sham!) because a lot of unproductive tasks are actually quite valuable. Taking time for yourself is valuable. Building meaningful relationships is valuable. Slowing down and enjoying and appreciating life is valuable.

Keep reading…

“Revolutionary Parenting” – No More Punishments

by Leave a Comment

I don’t usually listen to podcasts (they’re uncomfortable to take notes on), but today I did. I started up Isaac Morehouse’s podcast episode entitled “Revolutionary Parenting” this morning just to hear what “revolutionary parenting” actually was. I was planning to Google whatever came up in the first 10 minutes of the discussion, turn off the podcast, and then keep reading what Google gave me. But I was completely entranced after a couple minutes of listening to Kevin Geary and Isaac bounce back and forth parenting philosophies that toss traditional ideas of punishment out the window.

“Parenting without punishment and reward” wasn’t a new concept for me when I started listening to this podcast episode. I meet a lot of educators and psychologists that practice NVC (nonviolent communication) and advocate primarily the use of empathy in child rearing instead of rewards and punishments. But the idea (and reality!) of not punishing your kids never gets stale for me. It’s incredible to consider what society would be like if we raised a generation of kids without punishing or shaming them for misbehaviors and so-called “bad choices.”

Why do we even punish kids?

According to conventional wisdom, when a kid does something wrong or bad, he needs to be punished. He didn’t do his homework? Grounded. He hit his sister? Grounded. He knocked over the china while playing ball? Grounded (or shamed with an unnecessarily brutal or accusatory talk). Maybe he’s spanked. Maybe he’s sent to bed without supper. Somehow, in some way, he’s punished.

We rationalize punishment by saying that all actions have consequences. We see ourselves, adults, as the judges of morality, good choices, and good behaviors. We uphold the law. If we don’t teach that actions have consequences, our kids will never learn that, right?

Keep reading…

You just have to want what you Want!

by Leave a Comment

“You’ve lost your humanity, friend. Really, truly, you are no longer human.”

It was my turn to laugh. “So what? I should be more like you? You’re human?” I scoffed, gesturing at Pan’s furry hide.

“No, I’m not human. To be human is to search, to reach, to dream. And it seems to me that your purpose now, Atilius, is to connect what you want with what you Want.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Dearest Atilius,” Pan hopped off of his resting place and waved the forest nymphs away, “it’s quite simple. There are things that fulfill you in your life, things that give you meaning and a sense of purpose. These are your Waaaants,” he said with a dramatic flourish of his hand. After a pause he continued. “On the other hand, your wants are what you do to try to make your true Wants a reality. Your wants are the physical realizations of your true Wants. For example, you Want love. Love will fulfill you, love will make you whole. You want to be a general because you Want love. But the problem is that you don’t get love from being a general. Your wants aren’t aligned with your Wants. So the solution is simple. You just have to want what you Want!”

-Excerpt from Atilius and Pan by Leisa Michelle

Why is wanting what you Want so hard?

The problem is that we get fixated on the physical. Our Wants aren’t physical, they’re… something else. Something deeper. They’re connected with our essence, our feelings, our spirit, our intuition. And it’s easy to ignore our feelings, spirit, and intuition because they aren’t concrete. And as if that doesn’t make it hard enough, society in general degrades feelings, the spirit, and intuition.

Keep reading…