Leisa Michelle

Nerdy Monologues of an Autodidact

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I’m Not Original

February 10, 2016 by Leisa Michelle Leave a Comment

This article won’t be for everyone. It’s for those of you whose Resistance keeps you quiet when you ought to raise your voice and let out a battle cry.

Everyone has come across those quotes that insist that nothing is original and everything novel has already been said or done. At some point in my life I managed to internalize this and take it a step further. I was crushed by thinking, “Nothing I think really matters.”

I’m sure I wasn’t alone in drawing this conclusion. And yet despite this hopeless thought, some of us are eager and hold on, searching for a moment when we’ll finally have a novel idea to express. Others surge into the swamp of self-doubt. But regardless of which group we find ourselves in, this is silly. Be they novel or not, popular or unpopular, our thoughts should be expressed loudly and shamelessly. Originality isn’t the goal: the expression of the unexpressed is.

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Filed Under: Thinking Out Loud Tagged With: authenticity, expression, originality

Ignoring the Interest of Kings

January 31, 2016 by Leisa Michelle Leave a Comment

The danger in associating with kings arises from the fact that when kings enter upon the scene, and the spell of their influence gains strength, becoming like a great lamp, the person who keeps company with them, claims their friendship, and accepts money from them will inevitably speak in accordance with their desires. That person will listen to the kings’ mundane views with the utmost attention, and will not be able to deny them.

That is where the danger lies, it leads to a fading respect for the true source. When you cultivate the interest of kings, that other interest which is fundamental to the spiritual life becomes a stranger to you. The more you proceed down the path of kings, the more that direction where the Beloved dwells becomes lost.

Excerpt from Fihi Ma Fihi, The Discourses of Rumi

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Filed Under: Reading Reflections Tagged With: authenticity, close up, Sufism

Fishing For Failure

January 31, 2016 by Leisa Michelle 3 Comments

I’m standing in the middle of a vast, open field. Everywhere I look, in every direction, the whole 360 degrees, there’s nothing. Just nothing. The field just stretches on and on. I squint, desperately trying to spot something in the distance. A forest, a lake, a mountain, a stack of smoke, something to run towards, something to hope for. But I see nothing. I feel nothing. If I just knew which direction to go, if I could figure out which direction I truly want to go, then I might be able to make progress. I can get anything I want if I work hard enough. But what do I want? Where do I go? Gahhh!

I came up with this metaphor while leaving a voicemail for my older sister. This is how I feel when I try to think of what to do with my life. I don’t feel a pull in any direction, I don’t see any sparkling opportunities, and I have no idea what I want.

“I just want to be happy. I just want to be successful,” I said to her. And an hour or two later, she replied, “This might be terrible advice, but I think you should choose something knowing full well it might turn out to be not awesome. Forget about being successful. Just go out and fail. Yeah. Do it! Go out and fail!”

Forget about being successful? That’s crazy. That’s like saying forget about getting a good job. Forget about raking in six figures. Forget about getting a mortgage. Forget about starting a family while you’re young. Forget about all the arbitrary goals and stuff that stresses you out and just… live. Just live life. Huh. Maybe that’s not such crazy advice.

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Filed Under: Thinking Out Loud Tagged With: authenticity, failure, success, uncertainty

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