Leisa Michelle

Nerdy Monologues of an Autodidact

When “Facing Your Fears” Doesn’t Work

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“I’ll be praying for you that you’ll have the strength to face your fears.”

This is a condensed version of a text my sister sent me recently.

I’ve been struggling with some really intense anxiety over the last year. Anxiety that I can’t explain, control, or confront. It springs on me at the most inconvenient times. It makes me feel weak and irrational. It makes me feel alone. And, frequently, it makes me feel like a bad friend. I wish I could say it’s been getting better. But it hasn’t.

I’ve been very private and embarrassed about all this. But upon receiving the above text, I realized something.
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To The One I Love

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This is an essay that briefly goes through my views on the power of silence, the nature of God, and the virtue of selfishness.

The format is inspired by the essay Intentions by Oscar Wilde, which was set as a dialogue. After reading it, I realized that not all ideas are necessarily best expressed as an article or essay. So here I’m experimenting with outlining my beliefs on silence, God, and selfishness as a letter between two young lovers.

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Don’t Strive to Be the Best – Strive to be Better

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The power went out just now as I was publishing a new blog post. Perfect timing, right? I flopped down on the couch to decide what to do with my electricity-less, internet-less time. And I began thinking back to when I was in high school and my friend Angie and I plotted our ultimate learning project: our rise to Renaissance Man stardom. We wanted to be like Leonardo da Vinci and the other historical “masters of all trades”.

We loosely acted on our plans. We made a list of all things that a true Renaissance Man should know: classic music, biology, art history, world history, math, politics, among others. A true Renaissance Man should be one of the most capable people in the world in all these subjects, we agreed. He (or she) had to be the best. So naturally, we made being the best our goal.

We never became Renaissance Men. In fact, we failed quite miserably.

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